no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
