Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
