I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
im on a boat
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