tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
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