David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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