why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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