I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
