He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
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His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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