i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
