Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
