She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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