Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
