I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Are we still banned from the library?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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