I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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