Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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