i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
