You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
