i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
