So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Its about making memories worth repressing
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
