I am puke
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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