Already got asked if we're dating
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
