4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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