it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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