i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
