so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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