I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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