so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
