Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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