i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Use "feeling words"
Yay
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
