It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
