the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
