there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
