I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
