I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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