Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
