So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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