Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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