Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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