Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
