his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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