your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
