i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
