I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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