He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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