Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
