So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
