if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
