i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
