we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
