Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
