Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
