I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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