my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
