she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's blow job season.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
