Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
