where am i from again
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
