I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize