I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
