What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
