I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
