is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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