Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
