My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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