I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
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