Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
