I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize